Erotic consumerism in consensual non-monogamies

Abstract

This paper explores the affective, cultural, and normative dimensions of consensual non-monogamies (CNMs) within contemporary Western contexts, challenging the dominant assumption that CNMs inherently escape normative regulation. Drawing from gender studies, critical psychology, and queer theory, the article positions itself within current debates by addressing two significant gaps in the literature: the lack of situated analysis of CNM practices, and an under-theorization of consent as a fluid, negotiated process. Rather than presenting CNMs as inherently liberatory, the paper examines how relational contracts within CNMs often reproduce normative pressures – such as empathonormativity – the expectation to feel, express, or suppress emotions in socially prescribed ways. These emotional expectations can generate internal conflicts when jealousy, frustration, or ambivalence emerge. By tracing these tensions, the paper proposes a rethinking of relational ethics and affective labor in CNMs, highlighting how they simultaneously resist and replicate dominant structures of intimacy and control.

Keywords: Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM), erotic capital, empathy, self-care.